I love walking in parks in the rain. They are always empty and its great to feel like you have a place all to yourself here in London. I also love the sound of rain on the leaves and puddles, and the fact i have to be quiet to hear it. I enjoy the slightly farcical sight of tourists looking like huge marshmallows in their white bin bag rain poncho things - why do they wear them, when i am sure in their own country they wear v sensible clothes.

This weekend was my sister's 21st birthday party - it was lots and lots of fun. Got to wear a gorg dress my mum made and heals that may have caused some damage - but totally worth it. Victoria looked stunning (yes you did) and mum and dad loved being hospitible with so many of their old friends from all over and all of v's as well. It was great seeing family friends from times and places past - i forget that sometimes it is relationships like these which see years and seasons change, who remind me where i come from.

I am currently enjoying a quiet week after a busy one last week. It was all great stuff and i enjoyed seeing friends, but i forget the introvert in me needs time to touch base with Jesus, or i become this horrible monster person, who is really not very nice at all!!!
Outside of Him things loose perspective and i loose energy and any real ability to love. I can do the actions, but just simmer inside with impatience. I am currently reading another great book (must be a fluke - so many at once) and its just reminding me that its totally acceptable, no essential, for me to live from the heart. To live for who and what i believe in - not to try and water it down, or become all religious so its more acceptable to people. But actually be who He has called me to be, even if i have no idea who that is or what it looks like.
But I am realising more and more that I just need to let go and trust. I can trust him with money, relationships, future etc - but the challenge i am finding is to trust him with me, with my heart. This might sound all soppy and overly emotional, but maybe thats me. i dunno. but when its been broken and emptied, it makes the choice a bit harder.

But somehow in Him,now I am laughing about it, when in the past i cried. And there is the freedom to be able to trust and then just run in faith, hope and further into Love.

And then as if to prove His point, I saw a great poster this week - "Well behaved women rarely make history!" Oh, Amen to that!!

fun in the sun

had a great few days with my mum last week - eating good food and wandering around shops and parts of london that you only go with your parents, and only if you are very good.

The tan is coming on nicely, as is my general aquantience with the parks of london. they are all v good - i esp like the green stripped deck chairs and the cute ducklings. Yesterday had a feeling of the ridiculous about it when in the space of one shopping day (about 9 hours for you guys) mum and i saw 3 different instances of skirts being trapped in knickers.... v v funny. although slightly unfortunate for the ladies involved, although one ( had a touch too much pimms me thinks) thought it was hilarious when brought to her attention.

clearly us girls, after a winter of jeans and long coats are slightly out of practise of checking that everything is where it should be when exiting the powdering room. If nothing else - it was a good giggle!! and a good mental note (must check skirt)

i can't believe i have not blogged in a month. ops, sorry. Life has certainly taken on a fuller dimension over the last wee while. its just full of good stuff, so full in fact i hardly know what to do with it all. Its just such a contrast to a few months ago that it feels like they can't be part of the same journey... somehow though they are!

Life in London is good i think, although i have not spent much time here thus far. I am loving getting to know the guys on regents park, where relationships just seem to be lots of fun with few boxes or expectations. Time away from London has been good - road trips with the girls have been great. lots of prayer and cake - a great combo! Watched the film confetti while away - never laughed so hard all the way through a film, sooo funny.

Last week i was in a 24/7 prayer room in sale and have been reminded of the thing that makes me tick - just being with God, just because. Loved it - but felt the uncomfortable challenge that things should change when i return to london..... i guess i just feel a bit out of practise. Not that he counts that, i just need to rediscover that place again.

the journey with work continues - feel for the first time that i am seeing myself, in terms of position, more clearly than ever. Realising, probably slightly slowly, that i am not meant to sit in a small grey office for the rest of my life. whereas before part of me would say, oh thats just pride, now i realise it just not me. and thats ok. so as the possible oppertunities get whittled down, the space in my head to work on just sems to get bigger - i guess the phrase, nothing is impossible for God comes ino effect now. where i see me going is not anywhere i can take me - so lets jsut wait and see what doors are opened.

has anyone else noticed the SUN!!! its been shining. really, its true. Its june and I have a tan!!! (although one shoulder decided this morning to give up trying - its gone to peeling mode, boo). So i am enjoying much time in my garden and the park with friends and good icecream. Mangos are in season too which makes for many a comic moment. Yesterday i ate one for b'fast. it was ever so slightly past its best - but i did not realise this meant it would become mainly just juice. so i sat there, having peeled it v genteely, sucking it. Juice was everwhere, face, arms, floor, table.... but i just loved it. soo tasty and fun. i sat there laughing at myself trying to be all 'delicate' while just making a big mess...... a good way to start the day.

but then it rained on my bed sheets. after a day of super quick washing via sun drying, the last wash was pee-ed upon. boo.

do you ever have days where your typing is so bad, it looks like you are writing in welsh. thats me today.