currently feeling a little battered in my life choices at the moment - i.e. the whole not working in a "proper job" thing. It appears that the rest of the world thinks i am quite strange, which is fine, but I am realising the assistance of being around people who understand you. I am struggling to even work out why i am doing it at the mo, because it seems that i am quite scared even about the next month and all that it holds in store regarding travel, new people and places and money.
The first few of those list i normally love, but at the moment i am coming to loathe the restrictions, in my mind at least, even if nowhere else, that the latter, ££, force on me. So i think about going to new placces and am in fear because it is, in my head, just going to stress me out.
Now i realise, to all you lovely friends of Jesus out there, that I am being silly, and i should just go and have more faith......
But i am just writting it as it is - i do have faith. But currently it is just dwarfed by fear. boo. I hate it!!!
One inspiration I have found is a great book, which i mentioned before, culture jam. It just reminded me that i am not the only person (all those in manchester aside) not wanting to sit in an office and join the rat race.
I know that it will no doubt turn out fine, and in two weeks i will be in the tropical sun with some beautiful friends.... but right now i am just a bit scared.
thats ok though.
"it's all just part of the journey" (the very learn'ed HDC) haha
Monday, December 27, 2004
Tuesday, December 21, 2004
well.. it has been a little while, so have quite a bit to ramble about. but so i shall.....
I have finally moved house ( many of you will be happy to hear), on the week when 2 suspected terrorists were arrested on my street and a small riot ensued, rusholme is not what it used to be!!!!! But my new house, and new housemates are much fun indeed and i have already enjoyed an all day breakfast, for the whole day, and lord of the rings fest!!! fab!! but I did not even manage to spend much time there before i came down south to dorset for some fresh air, wellies and good food. The family is home for christmas, and we got a little snow (on the south coast!!) and a log fire - so i am quite content.
I am really enjoying reading the newspapaer a lot, along with "Culture Jam" by the adbusters posse in Vancover (big up ozza). A good mix me thinks. I am enjoying Culture jam, and the idea and the pure injustice of so much of what we count as society at the moment. But for some reason, and this is the bit that scares me more i think, I just don't feel inspired or empowered to do anything about it. When I hang out with various campaigning friends i feel i can find the vision to do something, but alone i feel the curse of this generation, apathy, hit me like i brick wall, and part of me just turns over and turns off. I know that this is one thing I just really need to shake myself out of, probably on a daily basis..... i guess i am just not sure where to focus my energies at the moment.
On a different note however, I would like to wish all my friends and readers a 'merry mass'. It seems, from my reading of the current papers today, that Christ has truely been taken out of our festive season. Carol concerts are being banned, nativity plays restricted, or worse, perverted to show the true Gods of this age (aka posh and becks and co).
There was an interesting article in the Times today, written by an aethesist, who was basically asking what the Christians where doing to protect their religous festival and british culture from those trying to shut them up?? He gave the example of Shieks (sp??) and Musilims doing everything they can to protect the sanctity of their religions, but proposed that the Christians in England were bowing to political correctedness and being silent. Why are we so scared and not walking as the 'children of another dimension', and putting Christ back at the centre, not just of these festivities but of our culture again?
Rant over, feeling i have just totally kicked myself up the bum (a good thing), told myself how to focus my energies (likewise), and then taken a huge sigh.... not really knowing where to go from here.
Computer time is now over however, so will continue this train of thought later.....
I have finally moved house ( many of you will be happy to hear), on the week when 2 suspected terrorists were arrested on my street and a small riot ensued, rusholme is not what it used to be!!!!! But my new house, and new housemates are much fun indeed and i have already enjoyed an all day breakfast, for the whole day, and lord of the rings fest!!! fab!! but I did not even manage to spend much time there before i came down south to dorset for some fresh air, wellies and good food. The family is home for christmas, and we got a little snow (on the south coast!!) and a log fire - so i am quite content.
I am really enjoying reading the newspapaer a lot, along with "Culture Jam" by the adbusters posse in Vancover (big up ozza). A good mix me thinks. I am enjoying Culture jam, and the idea and the pure injustice of so much of what we count as society at the moment. But for some reason, and this is the bit that scares me more i think, I just don't feel inspired or empowered to do anything about it. When I hang out with various campaigning friends i feel i can find the vision to do something, but alone i feel the curse of this generation, apathy, hit me like i brick wall, and part of me just turns over and turns off. I know that this is one thing I just really need to shake myself out of, probably on a daily basis..... i guess i am just not sure where to focus my energies at the moment.
On a different note however, I would like to wish all my friends and readers a 'merry mass'. It seems, from my reading of the current papers today, that Christ has truely been taken out of our festive season. Carol concerts are being banned, nativity plays restricted, or worse, perverted to show the true Gods of this age (aka posh and becks and co).
There was an interesting article in the Times today, written by an aethesist, who was basically asking what the Christians where doing to protect their religous festival and british culture from those trying to shut them up?? He gave the example of Shieks (sp??) and Musilims doing everything they can to protect the sanctity of their religions, but proposed that the Christians in England were bowing to political correctedness and being silent. Why are we so scared and not walking as the 'children of another dimension', and putting Christ back at the centre, not just of these festivities but of our culture again?
Rant over, feeling i have just totally kicked myself up the bum (a good thing), told myself how to focus my energies (likewise), and then taken a huge sigh.... not really knowing where to go from here.
Computer time is now over however, so will continue this train of thought later.....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
