currently feeling a little battered in my life choices at the moment - i.e. the whole not working in a "proper job" thing. It appears that the rest of the world thinks i am quite strange, which is fine, but I am realising the assistance of being around people who understand you. I am struggling to even work out why i am doing it at the mo, because it seems that i am quite scared even about the next month and all that it holds in store regarding travel, new people and places and money.

The first few of those list i normally love, but at the moment i am coming to loathe the restrictions, in my mind at least, even if nowhere else, that the latter, ££, force on me. So i think about going to new placces and am in fear because it is, in my head, just going to stress me out.
Now i realise, to all you lovely friends of Jesus out there, that I am being silly, and i should just go and have more faith......
But i am just writting it as it is - i do have faith. But currently it is just dwarfed by fear. boo. I hate it!!!

One inspiration I have found is a great book, which i mentioned before, culture jam. It just reminded me that i am not the only person (all those in manchester aside) not wanting to sit in an office and join the rat race.

I know that it will no doubt turn out fine, and in two weeks i will be in the tropical sun with some beautiful friends.... but right now i am just a bit scared.

thats ok though.

"it's all just part of the journey" (the very learn'ed HDC) haha