No 1 - helpless but hopeful

this week has been a bit of a weird one - crashing from being fine to grumpy and shouting, to crying to rejoicing.

Feel a little messed up.

Am bored of waiting and as such a little frustrated.
My head hurts from too much thinking

But two interesting revelations i thought i would share.

in the mess that was my head this week, i thought i would stuff all this and go and save the world! (go me!). But then i realised that people were already trying that and failing so why should i bother. and even if i wanted to i couldn't without God, or even know where to begin for that matter. phew

At which point God pipes up informing me that He can save the world, so I don't need to try. Then it hit me. I have nothing to offer Him at all. nothing that he can't do already, and probably much better.

man that sucks - when we like to think we are good people by what we can offer others. there is nothing to offer here that he has not given.
Instead, i realised, that all He is asking for is this cracked, and slightly confused, shell into which and through which He might choose to pour some of His spirit which could then help to bring in the Kingdom. but only if He wanted to. Not even essential. He could do it without me.

pants.

why on earth am i here?

I guess at this point i should jump up and say "to worship Him", and that is true and i totally believe it and love it. I just figured it would be through what i do rather than not.
tricky... and yet in that helpless place before Him, when you have nothing but to plead mercy, Hope rises from the ashes.

Things can only get better from here!! If there is something empty - He (i say this tentitavely) may fill it with Joy and Love and His fab Spirit, who I love!