Home at last

so for the first time in 10 years my parents are home..... great! We gave them flowers and a great surprise party - much bubbly flowing, was wonderful. Christmas has been great - much food and hanging out with family before we all part ways again. well until 351 boxes arrive and we are summoned home to unpack! oh dear.

But it has been a wonderful old time - i have been on very long walks over green hills and finally it feels like the rush and chaos of london has left me to be replaced by the stillness i find here. Its like soaking a sponge, trying to get as much in as possible in the next week before i head back. But i have also been rereading narnia - everytime i do i see something different and love God more, its just really beautifully written yet powerfully simple. It also leaves me saying things like, golly gosh. and 'thats just beastly' haha....

But at points this time has been strange. I am aware that God really loves all the feasting and family and celebration, but is really mourned by the fact that few see the reality of what it is we celebrate. But i have Hope afresh and can't be down hearted too long.
Its also been strange because i catch myself in the mirror and suddenly don't recongnise the person looking back. I think its more than a new hair cut, i think this last 12 months, although hard, has changed me in ways that at the mo i just can't quite pin down. But i do really like them, the little hints and glimpses that i catch....
I am also more and more aware of what a beautiful and precious thing a relationship with Jesus is, or perhaps closer to the point - Him.

So like lovely Oz, who i miss heaps, i am also looking forward to 2006. I know it will be fuller, more different and unexpected than this last year and i can't wait. I don't know how, but it will - maybe its 2006, maybe i have got my eyes open further and am more willing to see it - or maybe both. Either way it smells good.

So Merry Christmas and all the unexpected things God can throw at you in a year, for 2006.......!!!!!

got my stuff from manchester this weekend - happy days. my room is now my own, and even though i don't have huge buckets of stuff, the more personal touch can totally change a room!!

The dream wall is still under construction, but am looking forward to seeing it form. new wall, new year new dreams!!!! come on!!!

Am currently spending time at boiler. In true boiler style this involves much tea drinking, nattering and chilling out... oh and some prayer too. out for curry down brick lane tonight with random boiler people - much fun to be had.

other than that life is good. going home to the sea and hills of dorset on friday so am v excited. meeting parents at the airport - tissues at the ready.

Feels like i have been given a gentle intro to life in london before the new year and all that it holds in store. But loving london and all its london-ness......

nothing else to report.
wanting snow.

its a bit rough, but my thoughts for today

The bus drives past
I count my change
Not a ride or a sandwich
For 27p, not a crumb
And so I stow it
And plod on

My feet ache
The sreet continues
Buses fly past
Houses stand tall
Warm and smug

Other days i have sat
On bus tall
Or cafe warm
To turn to see a walker
Plodding ever on
Or sitting, exhausted
With blankets wrapped around
Sodden, dirty.

Pity rose, compassion flooded
The gangle of coins
Yet warm, dry and moving
I continued
On my speedy way
Not so them.

Now however I am one
Little keeps me from that fate
Only faith andpatient Grace.
We are the same
Only flesh and bones
Yet simple paper and coins
Changes everything

PLatforms are made,
To distinguish or remove
Some from the biting reality
Of an empty purse
And sore feet
Humanity at its most human
Yet most hidden
But why hide
Who we truely are
Naked, shivering and broke
Only then can we not
Hide who He
Truely is.

reality bites

so been here just over 2 weeks and it is starting to hit me a bit. So many people. bobins!!! Its like walking down market st in manchester, on a saturday, all the time!!!!

Hackney has character, quite the same feel as heald place - ghetto one might say. but its good, i love the feel of it.
Am currently sat in the boiler after having a fun time with jude and george. It seems that crazy boiler ideas are being sent from heaven to all 3 of us, seperately. fun. so we shall see where it goes, but there is space for me to do some stuff here, help out.

Missing manchester a lot today. being able to see people with ease, walk places with ease as opposed to walking for miles. cozy places. my room is not quite yet my own, need to get my stuff from manchester.

Learning lots about the poor at the mo, and what it means to be on the other side of the city. not the side seen on the postcard. the hidden side. Just really impacting me, mainly because i have about 27p. Am really peaceful about it, but know that there are somethings you can't learn or see or feel when you have a bus fare or food for a coffee.

So there are many more challenges but in a really good amazing way. God is being super as normal (a great english word that, super). Life feels colourful and hidden but growing all at the same time. Not found a green place in hackney, but the suggestion of churches sounds good - thanks, (although i don't actually recogn who you are...)

oh and congrats to paul and penny for the arrival of Lucy Hope. beautiful.

london

so i am here at last......

its good. am enjoying the change, but it is so big i can't seem to get my head round it fully. so many people, so many faces...... can get a bit much. but there is a v cool vibe, and i love it.

am staying in pimlico for the next few days before i move into a new house in hackney. been to camden town - love it. seems to be a totally bonkers place where people from all over the world just come and do their thing.

am not making much sense, but it is 10 am and i am having to rush. soz.

but am learning to get about, even without the use of my a-z. well done me! trying to find still or even vaguely quiet places here is clearly my challenge for the next wee while. or finding something green and living.... the city parks and i are already becoming firm friends!!

Have met Jude, who runs the city boiler - what a raondom but great idea. a boiler room on the edge of the square mile!! Hoping to help out there..... even though it is a v hard place to buy milk and bread on a sunday!! (have tried, the only thing open is McD's)

Saw the constant gardner last night - a v good movie in every way i can imagine! Great acting, photography - all good. but made me realsie how much i love africa and long for it to be free.....

anyway time is short so must dash. hope some of the above makes sense....