I love walking in parks in the rain. They are always empty and its great to feel like you have a place all to yourself here in London. I also love the sound of rain on the leaves and puddles, and the fact i have to be quiet to hear it. I enjoy the slightly farcical sight of tourists looking like huge marshmallows in their white bin bag rain poncho things - why do they wear them, when i am sure in their own country they wear v sensible clothes.

This weekend was my sister's 21st birthday party - it was lots and lots of fun. Got to wear a gorg dress my mum made and heals that may have caused some damage - but totally worth it. Victoria looked stunning (yes you did) and mum and dad loved being hospitible with so many of their old friends from all over and all of v's as well. It was great seeing family friends from times and places past - i forget that sometimes it is relationships like these which see years and seasons change, who remind me where i come from.

I am currently enjoying a quiet week after a busy one last week. It was all great stuff and i enjoyed seeing friends, but i forget the introvert in me needs time to touch base with Jesus, or i become this horrible monster person, who is really not very nice at all!!!
Outside of Him things loose perspective and i loose energy and any real ability to love. I can do the actions, but just simmer inside with impatience. I am currently reading another great book (must be a fluke - so many at once) and its just reminding me that its totally acceptable, no essential, for me to live from the heart. To live for who and what i believe in - not to try and water it down, or become all religious so its more acceptable to people. But actually be who He has called me to be, even if i have no idea who that is or what it looks like.
But I am realising more and more that I just need to let go and trust. I can trust him with money, relationships, future etc - but the challenge i am finding is to trust him with me, with my heart. This might sound all soppy and overly emotional, but maybe thats me. i dunno. but when its been broken and emptied, it makes the choice a bit harder.

But somehow in Him,now I am laughing about it, when in the past i cried. And there is the freedom to be able to trust and then just run in faith, hope and further into Love.

And then as if to prove His point, I saw a great poster this week - "Well behaved women rarely make history!" Oh, Amen to that!!