trains

I feel like I am sat on a train which is passing by a fence or forest or something. It causes the light to flash if its a sunny day - from overwhelmingly bright to deep gloomy grey, all of a sudden. In and out, light and dark.

Thats how I'm feeling. Either feeling fine and cheery, as per the past few months, or really not. Its disorientating, exhausting and I don't know where I am half the time. Its has also led to what some might see as a productive cleaning streak. Its true, I have cleaned a lot, my hands now stink of bleach and the house is cleaner than it has been in decades (who knew that dust could sit on walls?). But it has been more of a manic, must keep busy, type action than a determined effort to be domestic.

And so the trouble comes when I sit still, when thoughts collide in my head and sprinkle shrapnel over my heart.
I'm hoping its just a being bored, end of august thing.

I'm hoping the train stops soon, its hurting my head.