in september..... and so the students returned. Suddenly there are lots more people, and much more music and paper on the pavement. But it is part of the life of manchester, so let it roll!! Just lets make sure us oldies roll with it!!
Feel really pulled and streached in my thoughts at the mo, in tension between so many different poles. A tricky but fresh place to be, if not a little frustrating at times. Suddenly can't quite words to it, so will wait on that for a little while.
One question I have been wrestling with, is about being in the real world, not just a little bubble, but actually engaging with this city. But where and how. What is reality?? Do i go and work with the homeless, because that is a part of this place, or do i go and serve latte's to the coffee culture, another bubble in itself.
Perhaps the world is just full of bubbles??
But where am i am meant to be in this, what bubble should i be going to, learning from and hopefully impacting.
This little bubble, is comfy, but a tad too small. I have cramp. Life, me thinks, is also meant to be a tad fuller than what it is at the moment.
Why, so often, do I feel like i should be wearing tweed (its the season darling), and having my 35th birthday.
where has all the fun gone - and i'm only 21!!
Right, rant over - am off to find this thing called life, in its fullest!
Saturday, September 25, 2004
Saturday, September 11, 2004
busy busy
It appears that after 5 and a half months of not being busy that it may well continue. Not that I am going to be jobless, but rather the jobs are not going to be as i had hoped - keeping me busy!
They are instead going to be, well I am not quite sure, but what I have gleaned is that they are not going to keep me rushing about for 5 days a week. This is good, because it means i will continue to find out that my worth is not in the job or the paycheck. But it does come as a surprise, to someone who has found being still for this time so far, a bit of a struggle. But also, causes me to think a bit about the cost. Someone who i love once said that no-one starts something without first calculating the cost of the endevour. Its the same here - am i willing to be still, and let other people question it when it goes so strongly against our western busy busy mindset.....
Perhaps I should ask for an african holiday, as part of work experiance, in order to encourage me to not consider time, and work as what makes me a 'useful person'.
They are instead going to be, well I am not quite sure, but what I have gleaned is that they are not going to keep me rushing about for 5 days a week. This is good, because it means i will continue to find out that my worth is not in the job or the paycheck. But it does come as a surprise, to someone who has found being still for this time so far, a bit of a struggle. But also, causes me to think a bit about the cost. Someone who i love once said that no-one starts something without first calculating the cost of the endevour. Its the same here - am i willing to be still, and let other people question it when it goes so strongly against our western busy busy mindset.....
Perhaps I should ask for an african holiday, as part of work experiance, in order to encourage me to not consider time, and work as what makes me a 'useful person'.
Saturday, September 04, 2004
hello world
well... september is finally here!! I don't know a more eagerly anticiapted month in my whole life, new 'season', new times and hopefully a new direction on this path.
For the last few months I have been chilling and hanging out with the big man, while looking, in part, for a job. I said to a friend two weeks ago, that i felt i was just adrift and floating around. He replied, 'Anna, I think you are being moved with purpose and destiny into a new current of life..'!!!
And i think i may soon be reaching that point. horay!
The last few weeks have been a bit emotional, to say the least, but finished with a week camping with some of my favorite people in the world. Devon didn't know what hit it, quickly followed by a more gentle attack on the gower in Wales...
It was fun just to hang out with people, chat, catch up and make new friends. It was also good to be released just to be real with people when i was feeling pooey and in need of a good cry. Which, to be honest, has been quite a bit recently!
But now i am back, sleeping in a room which is bigger than me (short tents are not good), with two new house mates and a whole heap of hope for the future. I am not sure what it entails, and am beginning to think that any ideas i do have are so well of the mark that they are comical!
However, although by normal terms things seem a bit shot ( no job, little money, lots of debt, no career plan and a broken relationship)... I am feeling rather joyful and very hopeful. That, me thinks, is the paradox of faith.... (hoping in what we cannot see....)
but also the knowledge that the things of the world, in comparison to the things i treasure most (friends, love, intamacy and increasing depth with God) are really transitory. So I guess i am finding out how to be content in all (worldly) circumstances knowing that somethings can never be taken away!!!
For the last few months I have been chilling and hanging out with the big man, while looking, in part, for a job. I said to a friend two weeks ago, that i felt i was just adrift and floating around. He replied, 'Anna, I think you are being moved with purpose and destiny into a new current of life..'!!!
And i think i may soon be reaching that point. horay!
The last few weeks have been a bit emotional, to say the least, but finished with a week camping with some of my favorite people in the world. Devon didn't know what hit it, quickly followed by a more gentle attack on the gower in Wales...
It was fun just to hang out with people, chat, catch up and make new friends. It was also good to be released just to be real with people when i was feeling pooey and in need of a good cry. Which, to be honest, has been quite a bit recently!
But now i am back, sleeping in a room which is bigger than me (short tents are not good), with two new house mates and a whole heap of hope for the future. I am not sure what it entails, and am beginning to think that any ideas i do have are so well of the mark that they are comical!
However, although by normal terms things seem a bit shot ( no job, little money, lots of debt, no career plan and a broken relationship)... I am feeling rather joyful and very hopeful. That, me thinks, is the paradox of faith.... (hoping in what we cannot see....)
but also the knowledge that the things of the world, in comparison to the things i treasure most (friends, love, intamacy and increasing depth with God) are really transitory. So I guess i am finding out how to be content in all (worldly) circumstances knowing that somethings can never be taken away!!!
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