Have finally had some web time and just done a grand tour of my friends blogspots...... I know some truely fab and exciting people!! Top marks goes to sprog blog - the cutest photies in the world!

hen nights and holidays....

started with one and got the other.....

Big up to clare for hosting a beautiful and relaxing weekend, congrats to resa... 12days to go!! Also big up to hatts who did a foot thing, and also gave me new socks... so my feet are in heaven!!

I love my girls, they pick me up and dust me off, and then tell me to go on holiday when I am at my most tired and stressed for ages!! So in a week I will be off on travels again, off to greece for the afore mentioned wedding, some sun, sea and adventure. Maybe even a bit of head space!! but lots of my favorite people will be there, and i won't be stressing about anything... whopee!!

But for the next week its sarnies and rain as usual..... oh hum.

Also, for the joy of any regular readers, I now have comments, big up to George for that one!! (resa ta for the pestering... )

Current Activities include

making sandwiches for business people in a posh part of town
reading many books at once
swishing through the leaves and getting very soggy feet.

A great quote i loved from a book i finished a week ago (first one in a while)

" We may be badly made, but we're not finished, and its the adventure of changing reality and changing ourselves that makes our blip in the history of the universe worthwhile, this fleeting warmth between two glaciers that is us." Eduardo Galeano, Upside Down.

Don't agree with the whole thing, but very much the idea behind it....

what do you do when you have a map, but the scale and street layout get changed without anyone asking you.....
I think that is how i feel at the moment. I am now walking blind with my old contexts being made redundant, while old ideas float about waiting to be pinned to something more concrete. But unexpected doors are opneing everywhere... so i guess i just need to put one foot infront of the other and look out for walls and the odd lamp-posts. Walking into them would hurt, and i would look a little silly....

Scary to think that 2004 is soon to be over.

why do so many of my blogs talk about just walking forward into life... i need to get a new train of thought or something.

Looking back

I think my last rant was me wanting to change pace and get into things, life, something more than was. And now I am very definately at that cross over, and looking back.

I am enjoying this new pace of life, but as i think over the last 6 months of .... well whatever it might be called, i realise how much has changed in me and how important it has been. I find myself with a new level of peace and assurance about me - and who i am. but also about just doing what i am meant to be doing, and not worrying about what i am not....
Some things don't even need to be 'done' but rather just happen. Even if that means i can't do them, or control them - and i like that. I find myself in a culture where people assume that for things to happen something needs to be done - when actaully it can be more simple than that, and more hidden than that.

So I am enjoying the hidden things of life, the tiny things that only I see with God. The times with friends that are not so impressive, but beautifully simple all the same, which make relationships what they are. But i am also realsing the power of that hidden-ness and anonimity, when your motive is nothing except to be before God in that place; rather than be before men.

One thing i love about this blog - i start with nothing really to say, but realising that i maybe i could put fingers to keys, and then it just rolls. it may not make sense to anyone - but as a place to process goes - it works for me!!!!

I can firmly say that, having been told to throw out ideas about what I think might be coming up next, i have a blank page before me. But i know that it is going to involve a change in pace, a change in scenery and level of relationship, with God and friends. But I am so grateful for this time, when so few people get the chance just to chill out and seek god for such a time, i recognise that although i don't know the full impact yet (if ever) that it has been important for this traveller. I hope to instill in my life a rhythm of rest, prayer etc - just like the monks i have thought so much about these last few months, in order that in the business of this life, that the source of it is not abandoned or neglected, and i end up weary and lost....

But in fact - i think it is more than that - its more than just coming to a well for a top up. But there is something new in my relationship with God that is, yes peaceful to a new level, but also so much more beautiful. I can't put my finger on it - but am really beginning to know something more of His beauty, which He is letting me find somewhere a little deeper than my gut. I am quite excited about that - it feels like i have been given permission to walk into a room he hasn't shown me before, one that you come into with a bit of awe and childish wonder.

But currently I am only at the door - so i'm off to find out what is behind it