Wales

is mostly green and welsh. I loved the freshness in the colour, came as a real surprise after the grey of manchester. But i really could not get to grips with the lingo. It sounds amazing though...

Just come back from a bit of time with t and a, much fun and enjoyed the head space. It was just really easy to sit and listen there....

Am now back in Manchester, where it is really busy in town (really got me earlier....) . A man was playing the bag pipes really well in town today (not normal this far south of the border) and suddenly i was all teary eyed for Scotland. It has been a very long time since I'v been back, and i miss it much more than i realised.

Other than that life is unpredictable at best, but the sun is around more and the days are longer, so things must be looking up. bring on the flip flops and sunnies I say!!!

I played squash last night for the first time in years. It was a lot of fun, although i admit to having pulled muscles in my bum, which makes sitting fun for everyone else but me - they get to laugh at the face i pull!!! But saying that it was good to have a made dash through the court with Sophie - who i hit twice (!!) with the ball. Having only known her for half an hour, this was not the best basis for a friendship. But next week we signed up for it again, only then i will be sufficently stretched out.

Currently job hunting and trying to sort out my CV. So very boring, but needs doing. Boo. But this weekend am off to a concert with my siblings and then Wales to chill with the pinees...
no time left xx

all change

yesterday as i typed i was still every much waiting for something to move, esp in terms of money. So imagine my surprise when getting home i recieve an anonymous, and certainly not insignificant contribution to my bank account.

After 3 months of praying like crazy, really wanting god to be the God that i think he should be, but we rarely let him be over here in the west, He does it, beautifully, simply. He is becoming that BIG God that i long to see operating over here. So letting go of everything but holding onto Him, maybe just makes space for Him to be that - Creator and Lord. I just need to make more space for him.

So now I'm in london, drinking smoothie and loving it. This city has a great vibe, esp the free internet in snow and rock. sorry that you're not here G. But the miffins are good, will have one for you.

I am really wanting the unpredictable now though, however crazy it might be, it feels like an amazing way to live. Not to let go of responsibilities, or not live in the real world - but rather see them from a different perspective and learn to live a full life from that. It feels really exciting to finally be stepping a little closer to that, after learning to let go of those mental chains that stopped me before.

so where now - who knows, but thats the bit I am loving.

Uncertain

I have just re-read my last blog. It was a little obscure to say the least, sorry about that. But I just write what I'm thinking sometimes, and that is not always a lot!!

" Gracious uncertainty - to be certain of God means we are uncertain in all our ways, not knowing what tomorrow will bring... it should be an expression of breathless expectation." Oswald Chambers.

I know that I have been learning to let go of all of my expectations and ideas but not in a hopeless way. With me it is the way that God wants to make space in order to bring about His bigger and better plans. It just means that can often be found wandering around not entirely sure what is going on. If you find me like this, don't be overly conerned, Im not dangerous!

So, Easter (and any other dates that I had hoped might be significant....) has passed, and I am still here. But that is ok. It feels like the pace of life has begun to pick up and that there is focus coming. Next week I am off to the south coast and then to wales. From there who knows....

I know that I have finished the waiting (horah!) and so now its just a case of walking the path in front and seeing that appears. But as you might have guessed, I am not entirely sure what that might be. I have tried to work it out. But He is not letting on, but thats the point. If I knew then I would know.... therein lies the problem. He is God, I am not.

So this is a walk, one step at a time..... but imagine where I might end up!!!