Who said chivalry?

Before anyone decides to start rumours about me (HDC) i thought i would step in with my quote of the week....

" I have a real thing about men " - which taken out of context could be a bit tricky!!!!

What i actually meant by the above is I have a real thing about men being Men. I am not even sure what that means or looks like. But I do get frustrated when I see guys being prevented from (or in some cases just not bothering) being the Men they are meant to be.

Last week I had a really good conversation in which a friend and i discussed the old fashioned notion of 'chivalry' - does it still apply in our post modern, empowered women world?? Do we want men to treat us well, opening doors, paying for drinks, buying us roses etc..... or do we want to be seen as equals with them, splitting everything by half and stuffing old traditions as crushing to the "weaker sex".

Tricky..... I don't know any woman who wants to be seen as weak, but then again i don't know many who don't like being treated really nicely, treated like they are worth something to the guy in question.
I think a whole lot of good came out of feminism (i say at this point that i know v little about the movement so may have picked up the wrong end of the stick!!), we got to vote, equal pay and rights which expanded our world to go beyond the school run and the kitchen. We have so many things that so many women in the world do not have - and that is something i am really grateful for.

But did it maybe go a bit too far?? Did we, in saying that we can do anything a man can, make men a bit redundant. Or at least feel like they are easily expendable - who needs a man when we can multi-task to such an incredible degree? Perhaps that is why so few men feel empowered to be who they really are - either there is no space for them to do that (due to multi-tasking, all powerful woman in their lives) or that even if they did try, a woman would come and do it anyway, so why bother!!

So somehow I want to encourage the men in my life (Dad, brothers, in Christ) to be all they can. Does that mean me being weak? the damsel in distress looking for a knight to come and save me - only from the dishes!! No. well not totoally i don't think.

I think it means recognising that neither me or the men, can be all we are meant to be without the other sex. We both need to partner, together, to get to the end. That means me trusting him, and not taking control, while he values what I have to bring to the partnership and allowing our gifts to compliment each other.

That will look so different in every relationship, friendship etc - but its defo something i am out to encourage in those i have the privaledge to be in.....This is defo not new thoughts, but just thought i would share mine. although the above is not complete or fixed. am open to suggestions!

Other exciting news includes I got a new camera bag (for xmas). Its Crumpler and ruby red..... it makes me smile a whole lot. It has v useful but ingenious pockets and velcro in all the right places. Has given me a great level of satisfaction. Thanks cate for leading the way!!! (and yes i probably need to get out more if i get so giddy about a camera bag. but i think cate will understand!)

Next week - packing and london........

my new motto - be realistic. Demand the impossible.

London seems like a good place to start living that one out!