you spend enough time in a place and it'll either eat you up or spit you out.

and the scary thing is you don't realise until its almost too late. Its not like being eaten by a shark, with teeth and thrashing etc... no, much more deadly like sleep walking off a pier or something (don't laugh, for some its a possibility....ask the editor for details).

I got woken up this weekend and was shocked to realise how far down a throat I was.

It starts slowly with small bends and compromises in thoughts and expectations, nothing major, but it'll make life easier.

Then you're dreaming different dreams, big house, big dog, steady pay packet.

Dreams start influencing choices and you let go off the excess, the in the way bit (like chopping off grissle if we want to continue the eating picture). and thoughts you swore would not dominate your head, begin to seep in like mold (so if i want to live here, with house prices as they are I need a wage so large to pay the mortage, so better go find me a HUGE wage....).

the bit of you thats awake and not sleep walking, gets quieter but sits stubbornly in the corner and cries. Thank goodness for that!!

Because after a while, as your toes hit the tonsils, you wake up and realise this is not what you were made for - to try and fit in other peoples boxes, their dreams, or the ones you thought would make you happy. all that will happen is that you get eaten and have a bit of you quietly crying.

So, I guess I'll pick up my grissle, be an awkward shape and get spat out of here.....